HUBRIS

in ancient greek literature the term hubris was used to indicate the sort of pride that drove one to challenge the authority of the Gods. it usually led to one's downfall. in greek mythology, one could not escape fate and to challenge its limits usually brought about destruction and even humiliation. indeed, another use of the term hubris was to describe the sadistic and humiliating punishments that the wealthy of athens would dole out to insolent slaves and servants.

thus, to be filled with hubris, is rarely a good thing. it can signify a  lack of acceptance of one's place in the order of things. one graphic example comes immediately to mind; this is of icarus trying to fly to the sun only to find that his wings melt under its tremendous heat and, a victim of a hopeless dream,  he plummets to his death. (also a fantastic iron maiden song and a great training track. click on the link below to listen to it as you read on.)






so, icarus is a symbol of one brand of hubris, the mortal who over-steps his boundaries, who tries to fly to the sun, only to crash and burn. he is the dreamer who dares to reach for the stars and is summarily put back in his place.  the cost of his hubris is his own demise. he over-reached his place in the universe. or did he?

 let's reflect for a moment...everyone crashes eventually. one thing about life is that no-one survives. so in the end, icarus' fate is no different than anyone else's. however, he has, for one brief moment, ascended. let's think about icarus in that moment when his wings took him up into the sky higher than anyone imagined possible. let's think about how he felt when he looked down at the incredulous crowd who had laughed at him, telling him that a man cannot fly like a bird, let alone fly to the stars. what must have been going through his mind? what kind of existential moment must he have had?

i imagine that he felt like this:



he must have felt strong, beautiful, almost Divine. he must have felt like he had tricked fate. he must have felt as though he was becoming something more than everyone thought he could be. and in that moment he was. in that moment, he was doing the impossible. he was a man, flying in the sky, almost touching the sun.

this is the flipside to hubris. it was an act of hubris that found icarus up there in the the sky experiencing a type of transcendence that few dare to reach for. he refused to accept the limits that are usually associated with being human. he dared to do the impossible.  because of this, he is immortalized. because of this, he fell to his death.

does the fact that he fell cancel out his moment of greatness? this is a question that can only be answered in one individual's heart at a time. so, while icarus might be a great example of the high cost of hubris, he might also be formulated as a transcendent being who realized his fate to its fullest. in other words, he can also be seen as  a hero. there are plenty of other examples of heroes who chose their own destruction in the face of an impossible task, who chose this fate willingly over living a comfortable existence that might have lasted longer. achilles comes to mind. he chose the fate of a hero over mundane existence and died young, in battle. so also,  leonides the king of the spartans, who led 300 men to face the vast persian army and held them off for several days before succumbing to the inevitable.

perhaps there is a fine line between being a hero or being a fool, and that line is neither straight, nor exact and objective. nor is it always easy to know in the moment where you stand in relation to that line. attempting the impossible can be a noble thing, even with the foreknowledge of failure. but it can also be pure stupidity, hubris, ignorant over-reaching.

and just what does all of this have to do with endurance? and what, in particular, with blogging?

not much really...but, everything...

the ironman itself could be seen as one of those cruel punishments doled out by an ancient greek lord. it is a painful, almost impossible experience that humbles anyone who does it. but it is also a chance put on your wings and reach for the sun, how high you aim, is up to you. the very act of trying to fly requires a sense of hubris, men were not meant to fly, nor were they meant to do ironmans. but just how high to aim, is up to you. and whether you see icarus as a hero or a failure is totally subjective in the end...


 since i retired My Road to Penticton http://ironmanfundraiser.blogspot.com/,
i have been wondering what i will do to re-invent myself. one thing i know for sure is that i know in my heart i want to be someone who does ironmans, not someone who has done an ironman. there is a big difference.

i have already achieved something i feared. i am an ironman, a member of an exclusive club....but i am somehow, also, dissatisfied. i haven't been able to explain why. but i think i have figured it out.

 i feared ironman, i wasn't sure i could do it. but deep down inside somewhere i knew i could finish. it was as if icarus said to himself, "i think i can fly off that local colliseum and float around for 15 minutes and then fall to the ground unharmed, but i'm not totally sure". this would have been an amazing feat, no doubt. but he would have been selling himself short. he would not have pushed things far enough to find his true destiny. his own sense of safety would have confined him within the walls of a kind of anti-hubris world where it is better to under-estimate what one can do than to push things too far.

my ironman race this past summer was well within the boundaries of what i knew in my heart was possible. that was the major problem with it.

i stayed within myself and i achieved a great thing. but, at least to me, there is no glory in that. i know i can do better. much, much better. and that leaves a hole in my gut. i need to look into that hole. i need to chase the rabbit down the hole and find the animal within. it is time to become an endurance animal. it is time to say "fuck that" to limits and, in so doing,  to find those limits. i know where i belong. it is time to start going there.

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