AUTUMN MELANGE
my taper for IMAZ has finally begun, if you consider a 15 plus hour week to be a taper week.
the fitness is mainly in the tank at this point. there is little i can do to make things better for myself on race day. there are a million things that can fuck it up.
c'est la vie.
i have had many ideas for blogs over the past weeks, but precious little time to put any of them into action. so, what follows, will be, of necessity, or perhaps, just garden variety laziness, a mish-mash of shit that i have been thinking about. bear with me.
6 HOURS:
this has been my longest trainer session of the year. well, ever actually. i had thought about a blow by blow, hour by hour, journal of events. here is something like how it ran in my head.
1. this is boring, no...this is ok. there is nothing on TV. oh well. the iPod is here. oh, my daughter has come downstairs. cool. we will watch toopy and binoo and she will bounce on the ball and ride the elliptical with the nanny while i ride like an ass. i am a selfish father. wait...if it weren't for ironman, i would be at work right now. so at least she is here with me in the basement while i do what i do...
2. daughter up at breakfast, time to get down to work. welcome iPod. hello metallica. "one" is perhaps the greatest bike trainer song ever. i have listened to it multiple times during this IM buildup and it never fails to get the heart beating, the legs pumping. one good, angry, cathartic song.
3. time for a piss break. pee in nanny's toilet. make sure to put seat back down. fill water bottle. eat cookie. kiss daughter who is in the process of going down for nap. sure the trainer is boring, but boy does this beat pissing in a ditch at the side of the road while people drive by and stare.
4. this is my fourth hour down here? what the fuck? i am crazy. my ass hurts. i did not put enough lube on my johnson. i am wet. it is hot. i love pantera. i feel lonely. i don't want company. i like pain. lemme change my shorts. ahhhh that feels better!
5. i need to piss again. drink some soy milk. back downstairs. rocky 4 is starting. how fortuitous. who could ask for more than a rocky movie to be on while they are in their man dungeon hammering mindless hours on a trainer?
6. rocky 4. wow. i love this movie. rocky is so fucking cool. rocky is the ultimate training partner. i wish i had snowshoes and a mountainside in siberia to train with. why don't' triathletes look like boxers? i love drago the russian dude. his wife was hot. i have seen pictures of her (bridgette nelsen) in the past 5 years and she is anything but hot now....by this time i am completely delirious and i am actually crying during rocky's speech. "if i can change and you can change, everyone can change", brilliant.
FLU SEASON:
most difficult part of late fall ironman prep.
why the fuck is everyone around me sick??? why do they come to work and sneeze and sniffle and spread their germs on keyboards, elevator buttons, door handles?
why do they come to appointments and tell me they have the flu? did someone just do me a favour?
i have never become so attached to: six foot distance rules, hand sanitizer, cold fx.
MY LAST RACE:
funny, but of all the races i have blogged about, i chose not to blog about probably the best race i have ever had, so far that is.
18minute PB on a half IM course. 4th fastest run split,13th overall in my division, at an ironman branded race, not bad...i have seen roll downs for the worlds go to 11.. ironman muskoka was a bit of pay off for all the work i've done. a weird weekend, because it rained like hell the day before and i was miserable and almost ready to go home; i was tense with my family, i was being irritable. no-one except my 2 year daughter was having much fun. she seemed to love the dingy room we had, a mile away from the race expo. she has asked to go back to the "motel" several times since. this was an example of the eye of innocence finding diamonds in a mound of tirds.
it was cold. it was nasty. we had room problems, food problems, baby care problems. i lost a favourite pair of oakleys. but the next day, everything just turned around and i had a good race on one of the most beautiful and demanding courses there is out there. i felt happy and motivated afterwards, but that energy very soon became about IMAZ ramp up and that was that.
funny, but the closer i get to being where i want to be, the less i am impressed by myself each step of the way.
CROTCH SCIENCE:
i vow to write a full review of the desoto forza trisuit. but, until then:
i have developed disdain for crotch pads. i have been thinking lots about the princess and the pea with respect to bike shorts.
my balls are like the princess, you could stack mattresses until heaven and they will feel pressure. if something is poking you it is still poking you, even with a mound of padding there. what is better: some padding, or just getting everything the hell out of harm's way????
enter desoto and the invisipad. i thought it was called that because it was invisible. no. it makes things invisible.
any item of crotch wear that can stand 6 hours on a trainer, with no numbness, no pain. well this is something even someone as selfish as i cannot withhold from humanity.
KONA WITHOUT LANCE:
this was like ice cream with no sauce. it was still good...
it was also funny that the NBC coverage came on two weeks after the race (cause they thought lance would be there) and none of the men they highlighted in the first hour finished in the top ten.
the whole lance doping thing sucks, and i just can't be objective about it. i have lost too much. i think the world has lost too much. not that i am pro-doping. i am not. but the whole lance thing smells like blaming the whole war on one solider.
partial truth is worse than lies. and even the truest of truths, taken out of context, and used as nails in a crucifix for a sacrificial lamb, well that is scapegoating.
scapegoating is all too human a part of human history.
HUMAN NATURE:
a fellow blogger and reader from europe has shown unexpected, unprovoked and all too unusual kindness and generosity by donating to my Leukemia and Lymphoma Society IMAZ campaign from across the ocean. thank you for the motivation, the support and for helping me to appreciate that the better part of human nature is alive and well.
and if anyone wants to help, i am still about 300 bucks shy of my (rather modest) fund-raising goal...you can donate here
the fitness is mainly in the tank at this point. there is little i can do to make things better for myself on race day. there are a million things that can fuck it up.
c'est la vie.
i have had many ideas for blogs over the past weeks, but precious little time to put any of them into action. so, what follows, will be, of necessity, or perhaps, just garden variety laziness, a mish-mash of shit that i have been thinking about. bear with me.
6 HOURS:
this has been my longest trainer session of the year. well, ever actually. i had thought about a blow by blow, hour by hour, journal of events. here is something like how it ran in my head.
1. this is boring, no...this is ok. there is nothing on TV. oh well. the iPod is here. oh, my daughter has come downstairs. cool. we will watch toopy and binoo and she will bounce on the ball and ride the elliptical with the nanny while i ride like an ass. i am a selfish father. wait...if it weren't for ironman, i would be at work right now. so at least she is here with me in the basement while i do what i do...
2. daughter up at breakfast, time to get down to work. welcome iPod. hello metallica. "one" is perhaps the greatest bike trainer song ever. i have listened to it multiple times during this IM buildup and it never fails to get the heart beating, the legs pumping. one good, angry, cathartic song.
this track contains one of the ultimate speed metal riffs at the end. it has a sort of electric cossack on steroids and amphetamines feel. it is loud, pulsing and pleasingly violent. it makes you want to jump and bang your head.
at one point in my ride i am pushing over 200 watts with no pain, sweating like a pig, eyes closed, playing air guitar and banging my head...right into my aerobars. ouch!
i am also quite pleasantly surprised that this link works at all, especially given how metallica had the sound pulled from one of the net's best ever ironman videos, a celebration of normann stadler's 2006 victory in kona, because of copyright issues.
well no-one is perfect. but they are the perfect metal band. hands down. and "one" will forever be etched in my memory as the theme song of fall 2012 and my final training push for IMAZ.
3. time for a piss break. pee in nanny's toilet. make sure to put seat back down. fill water bottle. eat cookie. kiss daughter who is in the process of going down for nap. sure the trainer is boring, but boy does this beat pissing in a ditch at the side of the road while people drive by and stare.
4. this is my fourth hour down here? what the fuck? i am crazy. my ass hurts. i did not put enough lube on my johnson. i am wet. it is hot. i love pantera. i feel lonely. i don't want company. i like pain. lemme change my shorts. ahhhh that feels better!
5. i need to piss again. drink some soy milk. back downstairs. rocky 4 is starting. how fortuitous. who could ask for more than a rocky movie to be on while they are in their man dungeon hammering mindless hours on a trainer?
6. rocky 4. wow. i love this movie. rocky is so fucking cool. rocky is the ultimate training partner. i wish i had snowshoes and a mountainside in siberia to train with. why don't' triathletes look like boxers? i love drago the russian dude. his wife was hot. i have seen pictures of her (bridgette nelsen) in the past 5 years and she is anything but hot now....by this time i am completely delirious and i am actually crying during rocky's speech. "if i can change and you can change, everyone can change", brilliant.
FLU SEASON:
most difficult part of late fall ironman prep.
why the fuck is everyone around me sick??? why do they come to work and sneeze and sniffle and spread their germs on keyboards, elevator buttons, door handles?
why do they come to appointments and tell me they have the flu? did someone just do me a favour?
i have never become so attached to: six foot distance rules, hand sanitizer, cold fx.
MY LAST RACE:
funny, but of all the races i have blogged about, i chose not to blog about probably the best race i have ever had, so far that is.
18minute PB on a half IM course. 4th fastest run split,13th overall in my division, at an ironman branded race, not bad...i have seen roll downs for the worlds go to 11.. ironman muskoka was a bit of pay off for all the work i've done. a weird weekend, because it rained like hell the day before and i was miserable and almost ready to go home; i was tense with my family, i was being irritable. no-one except my 2 year daughter was having much fun. she seemed to love the dingy room we had, a mile away from the race expo. she has asked to go back to the "motel" several times since. this was an example of the eye of innocence finding diamonds in a mound of tirds.
it was cold. it was nasty. we had room problems, food problems, baby care problems. i lost a favourite pair of oakleys. but the next day, everything just turned around and i had a good race on one of the most beautiful and demanding courses there is out there. i felt happy and motivated afterwards, but that energy very soon became about IMAZ ramp up and that was that.
funny, but the closer i get to being where i want to be, the less i am impressed by myself each step of the way.
CROTCH SCIENCE:
i vow to write a full review of the desoto forza trisuit. but, until then:
i have developed disdain for crotch pads. i have been thinking lots about the princess and the pea with respect to bike shorts.
my balls are like the princess, you could stack mattresses until heaven and they will feel pressure. if something is poking you it is still poking you, even with a mound of padding there. what is better: some padding, or just getting everything the hell out of harm's way????
enter desoto and the invisipad. i thought it was called that because it was invisible. no. it makes things invisible.
any item of crotch wear that can stand 6 hours on a trainer, with no numbness, no pain. well this is something even someone as selfish as i cannot withhold from humanity.
KONA WITHOUT LANCE:
this was like ice cream with no sauce. it was still good...
it was also funny that the NBC coverage came on two weeks after the race (cause they thought lance would be there) and none of the men they highlighted in the first hour finished in the top ten.
the whole lance doping thing sucks, and i just can't be objective about it. i have lost too much. i think the world has lost too much. not that i am pro-doping. i am not. but the whole lance thing smells like blaming the whole war on one solider.
partial truth is worse than lies. and even the truest of truths, taken out of context, and used as nails in a crucifix for a sacrificial lamb, well that is scapegoating.
scapegoating is all too human a part of human history.
HUMAN NATURE:
a fellow blogger and reader from europe has shown unexpected, unprovoked and all too unusual kindness and generosity by donating to my Leukemia and Lymphoma Society IMAZ campaign from across the ocean. thank you for the motivation, the support and for helping me to appreciate that the better part of human nature is alive and well.
and if anyone wants to help, i am still about 300 bucks shy of my (rather modest) fund-raising goal...you can donate here
Comments
Post a Comment