the blonde within
i have been experiencing either some form of writer's block lately (or is that blogger's block?), or else maybe just a realistic appraisal of who and what i am and what my blogging means to the world, or maybe i just have a life, but,...either way, i have not been motivated to write a single word.
and now, in lieu of something truly coherent ,as i wait for that home-made guyanese pepper sauce to do its thing, i am moved (pun intended) to write a few random thoughts, for the entertainment of all those people in russia who get to this blog by googling the word "hubris".
first, i discovered this past month that i am an official desoto model, my photo being included in the new web-page under "men". (keep clicking the multi-colored desoto logo in the top corner and the pics change).
funny, but a scientific journal publication, or an academic promotion could not have triggered more narcissistic joy in my little blonde (bald) head. desoto products are top notch. i can't imagine wearing anything else anymore for training or racing. and, furthermore, their catalogue is like the victoria's secret of triathlon apparel. i am truly tickled to be associated with them.
http://www.desotosport.com/
second, i am building a new bike, from the ground up. this is a nerve wracking and exciting thing. i don't think that any piece of triathlon equipment has the same symbolic and practical implications as one's ride. your bike is so much more than just what you ride from t-1 to t-2. it is, somehow, a concrete manifestation of the symbolic representation of your phallic, narcissistic self. so, the fact that i am building my new bike from mainly used parts is even more interesting from a psychodynamic perspective. will it be some kind of franken-bike, void of a soul, or will it be a true reflection of my personality? if any of this makes sense to anyone out there, kudos to you. i won't bore anyone with more. pics soon. i hope.
third, i have grown what meagre hair i possess and simultaneously been persuaded to dye it blonde. this is a paradoxical move on my part. it involves accepting my lack of hair and thus facing who i really i am . this could stand in stark contrast to all of my ironman dreams and projections. yet, doing so has required a gradual but profound change in my sense of self, that allows me to show my blonde baldness to the world without shame and to even feel comfortable and manly about it. i am no longer addicted to shaving my head as a protest to my baldness. when i think of it, there is a parallel here between this idea and the one of building a new avatar/bike out of used parts.
i think this bodes well for my overall progression as a human being and also as a triathlete. and so, for the moment, it is fitting in more ways than one this combination of humility, acceptance and grandiosity. it is so weird it must be healthy. i am a blonde at heart, but hopefully also wise enough to know exactly what that means. now, if i could only work on some other addictions and self-delusions....
finally, i read the "iron war" which i would like to write more about at some point. for now, i will stick to the fact that, for better or worse, real or not, fact or fiction, it has brought "the man" to life for me more than ever and i want to be like "the man" more than ever. if that makes sense to you, then you are an endurance animal.
and now, in lieu of something truly coherent ,as i wait for that home-made guyanese pepper sauce to do its thing, i am moved (pun intended) to write a few random thoughts, for the entertainment of all those people in russia who get to this blog by googling the word "hubris".
first, i discovered this past month that i am an official desoto model, my photo being included in the new web-page under "men". (keep clicking the multi-colored desoto logo in the top corner and the pics change).
funny, but a scientific journal publication, or an academic promotion could not have triggered more narcissistic joy in my little blonde (bald) head. desoto products are top notch. i can't imagine wearing anything else anymore for training or racing. and, furthermore, their catalogue is like the victoria's secret of triathlon apparel. i am truly tickled to be associated with them.
http://www.desotosport.com/
second, i am building a new bike, from the ground up. this is a nerve wracking and exciting thing. i don't think that any piece of triathlon equipment has the same symbolic and practical implications as one's ride. your bike is so much more than just what you ride from t-1 to t-2. it is, somehow, a concrete manifestation of the symbolic representation of your phallic, narcissistic self. so, the fact that i am building my new bike from mainly used parts is even more interesting from a psychodynamic perspective. will it be some kind of franken-bike, void of a soul, or will it be a true reflection of my personality? if any of this makes sense to anyone out there, kudos to you. i won't bore anyone with more. pics soon. i hope.
third, i have grown what meagre hair i possess and simultaneously been persuaded to dye it blonde. this is a paradoxical move on my part. it involves accepting my lack of hair and thus facing who i really i am . this could stand in stark contrast to all of my ironman dreams and projections. yet, doing so has required a gradual but profound change in my sense of self, that allows me to show my blonde baldness to the world without shame and to even feel comfortable and manly about it. i am no longer addicted to shaving my head as a protest to my baldness. when i think of it, there is a parallel here between this idea and the one of building a new avatar/bike out of used parts.
i think this bodes well for my overall progression as a human being and also as a triathlete. and so, for the moment, it is fitting in more ways than one this combination of humility, acceptance and grandiosity. it is so weird it must be healthy. i am a blonde at heart, but hopefully also wise enough to know exactly what that means. now, if i could only work on some other addictions and self-delusions....
finally, i read the "iron war" which i would like to write more about at some point. for now, i will stick to the fact that, for better or worse, real or not, fact or fiction, it has brought "the man" to life for me more than ever and i want to be like "the man" more than ever. if that makes sense to you, then you are an endurance animal.
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