UNDER THE WIRE
there are several meanings buried in this title, and few words to put them in.
i hope that this gets through the main server, wherever that is, in time for May to still be here, because then i will continue my roll of, at least monthly blogs. under the wire.
alot has been going on with me, much has nothing to do with endurance sports, but much does, just more doing than formal reflecting.
personal bests has been a big part of my thinking lately. how we define them. what they mean. the vacuum that meets us at the other end.
watching the life of pi, i had an epiphany about the all important nature of narrative, the stories we tell ourselves about what happened, why we did, how we did, and what it meant. that is everything. it is the story we tell ourselves about what we did that matters, the story is the thing itself in the end
so, with a personal best. it is not the numbers. it is not the public declaration: (because no-one really fucking cares, or understands what you just accomplished)
i recently watched a documentary about lance armstrong. i was reminded of that picture he put on twitter of himself lying on his giant sectional in austin, looking at his seven framed yellow jerseys. the lance debacle is a good example of the importance of personal narrative. whatever people say, whatever history writes, whatever official records show, the only thing that matters for that person is what story he tells himself at the end of the day. that is what he will take to the grave.
so, you can construct, or de-construct your own glory, and you should. but not based on numbers, or hard data, or God forbid, on what you think other people are seeing and thinking, but, rather, on the total experience and the full, personal, intra-psychic meaning of what just happened.
trust me, the joy of crossing barriers of accomplishment, even ones you were never sure were possible, is short lived indeed, and can actually leave you feeling more empty than before.
in zen terms, the moment to moment story board, as you approach your goal is where you need to be. but, for most of us, who are prone to reflection and living in our memories, it is the story about how you got there that matters. so tell yourself a good one.
i hope that this gets through the main server, wherever that is, in time for May to still be here, because then i will continue my roll of, at least monthly blogs. under the wire.
alot has been going on with me, much has nothing to do with endurance sports, but much does, just more doing than formal reflecting.
personal bests has been a big part of my thinking lately. how we define them. what they mean. the vacuum that meets us at the other end.
watching the life of pi, i had an epiphany about the all important nature of narrative, the stories we tell ourselves about what happened, why we did, how we did, and what it meant. that is everything. it is the story we tell ourselves about what we did that matters, the story is the thing itself in the end
so, with a personal best. it is not the numbers. it is not the public declaration: (because no-one really fucking cares, or understands what you just accomplished)
i recently watched a documentary about lance armstrong. i was reminded of that picture he put on twitter of himself lying on his giant sectional in austin, looking at his seven framed yellow jerseys. the lance debacle is a good example of the importance of personal narrative. whatever people say, whatever history writes, whatever official records show, the only thing that matters for that person is what story he tells himself at the end of the day. that is what he will take to the grave.
so, you can construct, or de-construct your own glory, and you should. but not based on numbers, or hard data, or God forbid, on what you think other people are seeing and thinking, but, rather, on the total experience and the full, personal, intra-psychic meaning of what just happened.
trust me, the joy of crossing barriers of accomplishment, even ones you were never sure were possible, is short lived indeed, and can actually leave you feeling more empty than before.
in zen terms, the moment to moment story board, as you approach your goal is where you need to be. but, for most of us, who are prone to reflection and living in our memories, it is the story about how you got there that matters. so tell yourself a good one.
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