IRONMAN MUSKOKA

if this is a race report or review about ironman muskoka then why are we looking at a picture of cathedral mountain in montana?

it is, because, being in the range of 9000 feet of climbing; cathedral mountain to the peak and doing ironman muskoka entail approximately the same amount of elevation gain.

so...if you did muskoka on sunday. feel proud. you are a tough person and don't let anyone tell you that the course is "not all that hard"; it is.

here are some results from a search i did on elevation gain during bike segments of ironman races:

-lanzarote: 2300 meters
-muskoka: 2215 meters

-nice: 1949 meters
-tremblant 1800 meters (official website)
-tahoe: 1665 meters
-canada (whistler) 1300-1972 (different sources)
-placid 1200 meters
-kona: 1500 meters
-wisconsin: 1030 meters
-boulder: 1300 meters

if i have left something out, please let me know.

i won't go into a race by race run elevation profile, but suffice it to say that the run course in lanzarote is pretty flat, muskoka has 390 meters of ascent on the run. that is more than placid, which is known to be a killer run. i am not saying that it is the most ascent of any run on the ironman circuit, because i don't know that for a fact, but i do believe that if you take bike/run elevation gains as a metric, that ironman muskoka pretty much tops the scale; at just around 9000 feet. just like climbing cathedral mountain....

all the more reason that it was absolutely incredible that a man i train along-side many wednesday mornings in summer, ken morris, rode sub 5 and then ran a 3:12 marathon to take second place overall. i mean like, holy fuck ken, i am impressed. that is simply amazing. and inspiring. and the best part about ken is that he always has something quite witty to say just when you are getting most bogged down by everyone's extreme  and serious narcissism on wednesday mornings at lake wilcox.

i find it interesting to note that the non-pro races in the USA like placid, boulder and maryland; all got some form of media coverage, but i found sweet nothing about muskoka on the usual net sites i cruise; and i am a dedicated tri-geek. interesting.

if you aren't getting the idea, this is not going to be any kind of normal race report. i am getting post-modern in full at endurance animal.

the thing about the elevation gain on the bike is that it comes as a series of ups and downs, none too sharp, but just relentless. so, if you are a light person, who goes up well, and a good technical descender, this is your course. if you like putting your head down and grinding out steady power for hours on end, this course will not suit you....but it is beautiful in the extreme, and that may help you enjoy it more.

lake of bays beauty

who is that handsome guy on the bike?

the best place to stay during the race is deerhurst. in theory. however, if i was going to do this race again i think i would try to get in at hidden valley, which is just a short walk down the road, and wayyyyy less expensive. i really do plan a short blog on this separately, but suffice it to say that the bill i got from deerhurst was one of the most discouraging things about my week, and really defines the word: gouge. for what i paid for one night for my rather dull and un-inspiring two bedroom "condo", i could easily have rented a decent 1-2 bedroom unit for a full week in cozumel, or even arizona. (or even entered another ironman race)

we had one meal in the main restaurant the night we arrived. unlike previous years, in which i have quite decent memories, the food was horrible. my wife had a lamb shank, which at 30 bucks, was priced in the fine dining category. it came out, stiff and weird, obviously thawed out from frozen. my pork chop was stiff and over-done. i have had much better meals at an all-inclusive buffet in mexico.
it would have been bad no matter what we paid, but the fact that we paid fine dining prices just made what we got a little bit more ridiculous.

  i will NEVER go back to deerhurst, unless they change their pricing, or do something to actually earn that level of horrendous cost. they have a gorgeous natural setting and could do so much more ot make the place a truly 5 star experience, if they want to charge that much. or, keep things the as are and lower the cost to reflect the quality of the hospitality. sad, because staying there, and racing there, really can be one of the most pleasant race experiences one can have anywhere; if they just get the cost/value balance even somewhere in the realm of somewhat realistic.

the swim:

not much more to say; warm, wetsuit legal, pretty calm. about as nice as it gets when you have to share the same water with 1000 other assholes at 7 am. (i am bitter because i have not done well with mass scale swim starts this year and it pisses me off, because i swim way better in the pool; i have to honestly say that most people were quite respectful and nice, except the asshole who crossed over in front of me twice and then elbowed me in the eye; to him, i say a not so gentle: fuck you.)

the run:

the run course is hard. it is sort of flat in the middle with relentless up and down on either side. as far as ironman run courses go, it is one of the more lonely ones i have done. just not too much going on for a great deal of it. there are fairly long, lonely spaces. aid stations are sufficient, but not as numerous as i have experienced elsewhere.

 compared to texas, cozumel, penticton, imaz; come to think of it, just about anywhere else i've been, the energy around the finish line was a bit anemic. just not the same kind of buzz and big-event feel that you get elsewhere, if that sort of thing matters to you. it was like the 70.3 muskoka race on steroids (but no growth hormone, if you know what i mean), but that is about it.

when is happy hour at the bar?

ahhh. the end.

by far, the best part of the run, and in fact, the whole day, or, possibly my entire triathlon "career" was seeing Dave Scott on the run course.

as i entered a rough spot during the second half marathon, i looked up from my fuel belt, in which i was searching for a salt tab to relieve a bout of nausea and bloating, and i saw,  a lithe figure, dressed all in black cycling gear, standing in the sun shimmering like a bronzed zeus, with the laid back yet incredibly self assured american glory of his legendary self. dave. scott. the man. watching me run and cheering me on.  my heart stopped.

"dave" i screamed involuntarily; and he looked back at me. "my hero"...i yelled through the wall of my back half of the marathon daze, "my day is complete" and i turned around, back pedalled, and did several of the most genuine genuflections i have ever performed.

dave responded to this rather nicely. he did not run away. he did not figure me for psychotic (at least i don't think so). he nodded back to me, gave me words of encouragement and rode off, up ahead, like his god-self, on the run course, further into town.

a kilometer or two later, i came across him again and commented that twice in one day was just really more than i could hope for....i must have run by dave, 4 or 5 times in the next 45 minutes, and each time, he acknowledged me, and spurred me on. to say this really lifted my spirits is a gross understatement. it really was one of the highlights of any race i have ever done. it was like meeting the wizard of oz, but instead of discovering he is just a little man manipulating a machine, you see that he really is a fantastic wizard. dave is just awesome at being awesome. and after meeting and interacting with him in person, i am even more inspired by him.

it makes me wonder how bad my run would have been otherwise, because Krishna knows, that even with all of that, my performance was less than spectacular.


the town and logistics:

not easy to get to from any airport. easily a 2.5 hour drive from anywhere that starbuck's cares about.

a nice metro, a wal-mart and a shopper's all within 2k's of eachother and 5 minutes drive from the race site. the good thing about huntsville, is that being quite small, everything is close and it is not a big hassle to get anything.

there is at least one quite amazing italian restaurant called that little place by the lights which serves up above average, home made pasta dishes, in generous portions and in a small, although tuff to get a table at on race day, friendly, family atmosphere.  in town, there are, some over-priced art galleries and specialty shops. a few mediocre pub style spots and the usual fast food options round out the strip-mall, very, very small town atmosphere that is huntsville. if penticton is a 10, huntsville is a 4 or 5, similar, quite beautiful, but just not as impressive on any level.

all in all:

this was a tough race. in terms of vertical distance covered, it is probably the toughest on the planet at the full distance, extreme events such as norseman aside. if you do well with hills, this is your course.
if you enjoy extreme northern beauty, this is your course. if you like a well populated run course and lots of energy to let you know you are doing ironman, this might let you down. this is ironman in a grey suit (or maybe more correctly, levi's and a black and red hoser shirt), not a red party dress. if you don't want to pay through the nose to be conveniently close to your race site, this race is not for you.
by far the most convenient place to stay is grossly over-charging for extremely sub-standard, for the price spaces (not to mention food that really sucked and was over-priced in the restaurants).


 am i happy i did it? yes. did i have fun? sometimes. did i have the race of my dreams? no. would my review be different if i KQ'd and exceeded my expectations? perhaps. but keep in mind, that i experienced repartee with my idle on the run course.