REMEMBRANCE DAY

i had chest pains all day today
thinking about laurent vidal...

of course, i went anaerobic so many times
on my cross ride in the valley
up sharp, glassy leaf covered hills
that my heart
had good reason to beat hard
out of my chest
and may have skipped a few beats
who knows?

crossing the mount pleasant cemetery
where my father is buried
and i will one day rest,
i came across a one way road
"how symbolic", i thought,
so i rode it twice
and stopped to snap a photo
of the one way road into the unknown
quiet, dark, bedecked in orange/brown burnt hues
speckled with tomb stones
i saw tim burton laughing
and appreciated the irony
of my situation...
it was empowering
if not grounded in reality

the fall is beautiful
but winter is coming
we in the brotherhood of the nightwatch
will guard the wall
against the march of the dead

not everything can always be beautiful
i had a hard time explaining the concept of war to my five year old
and then i just gave up
realizing that i don't want her to know
not yet anyways

better not to talk to her about valour and heroes
or making the ultimate sacrifice

it is too bad that she already knows about death

laurent vidal was 31 years old...

my chest pounds again
i crest another hill
in the chilly fall
i down an espresso
in forest hill village
after standing in line at aroma
embarrassed by the mud-line accentuatig the centre of my ass
eating a chocolate croissant on the grey patio
contemplating the campagnolo on my ridley
happy to have my gloves off

the empire of the clouds
is on my mind today
and i deal with it
like most things

by fighting a grand battle
on my own
in the forest
another great training day
another solitary and hopeless fuck you at death
another re-union with my family at the end
with mud on my calves

another day in the trenches of life
smelling roses
or poppies
disguised as roses
i don't really know
and i am not sure i care...